Second guessing myself

I don’t really know how to present this coherently, so I’m just going to vomit what I’m thinking here. I’m simultaneously in love with myself and hate myself. Taking the “fuck you, I’m going to do what I want” attitude makes me both euphoric and vulnerable. Vulnerability makes me feel both human and immature. People can make me feel amazingly secure and intolerably insecure. I hate that I don’t know more than I do. I love that everyone feels that way. I love my friends to no end. I hate that I spend more time being envious than acting. I hate when I turn into a whiney, insecure child. I both hate and love how attention is a core need of mine.