(I wrote this a few days ago at work...I'm lazy with the posting....)
You ever realize it's 1pm and you feel like you just started your day? That was me today. I mindlessly reached for my coffee while I was reading and happened to glance down as the mug hit my lips. Cold, stale coffee rings. How representative of a morning that sped by and me not producing enough. *Sigh*
I decided that I am not going to put over 45 hours a week into work. I don't care. Fire me…California has great unemployment. I think it would be different if I were driven to something, but I have reached the infamous Shayla apathy – something that shrouds all of my efforts when I have to be somewhere at a given time. Now, I like routine to an extent – it makes me feel like I accomplished something. Ate breakfast – check. Went to the gym – check. What is my deal with work? Go to work – check with an accompanied grunt. Could it be flexibility? Could it be problems with authority? Could it be sitting at a desk all day staring at a computer screen? I see the same people, the same walls, the same building, the same muni trip. Granted, there is comfort in that also. But I need something more exciting.
I run away from things and I'm sick of it. I ran away from Florida and I have the same problems here. Now I want to run away from here and join a friend in Korea. Is it that I'm running into something that doesn't suit me? Running into office jobs?
Any thoughts would be appreciated. I don't mean to use this as a cheap form of therapy, but I always want to write when I need that.
7 Comments:
You at 1pm was totally me at 7am this morning. Office jobs suck out your soul. I'm starting to think about the idea of being a housemom and it's getting more appealing as time goes on. Every day an adventure! Wanna see ponies today? Petting zoo - check. Had tomato sammich yesterday? Have grilled cheese today! Tired of sheet forts? Make a macaroni necklace! B. wants to be the househusband... this may come down to fisticuffs.
That aside, the advice I can give is this: get involved in something outside of work like volunteering. As soon as it becomes a drain on you though, bail! That's a lesson I still can't make myself learn. :(
Moving farther away is clearly a sign of immaturity. Salvation lies in a move to DC.
Pay no attention to the monkey behind the curtain... er, I mean, the person behind the "anonymous" post.
Life has no meaning on its own than survival. Meaning is created by deciding on it yourself.
ha! seriously, ponies, sammiches, fort sheets...could life get any better? well, maybe if unicorns and kittens are involved....
office jobs do suck the soul. once i figure out how to not have one, i'll let you know. in the meantime, work tomorrow?
yah, ponies, sammiches, macaroni necklaces...then you decide one day that your kids have trapped you just like the office job did...so you decide to have an affair with the pool man...but your husband comes home early to surprise you and finds the two of you together...so he files for divorce...and b/c of your infidelity, that clause in the pre-nup kicks in, so he gets custody of the kids, you get no alimony, and all of a sudden you're back working in that same office job that you thought the kids would save you from...if you're lucky that is...see, you've been out of work for quite a while, and your skills arent quite what they used to be...so it looks like you're going to have to settle for that cashier's job at wal-mart (and weekends working the breakfast shift at mcdonalds) just to make ends meet...all just b/c you didn't feel like moving to dc and taking an office job...
wow. my future is so bleak. i may as well just quit and move to DC. or...i could just plan the death of my husband and reap the life insurance reward...
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