burning hands

mental block...mental block...mental block. how can i write a release when i don't have any good information from the client? some of you might say to *ask* the client for more information. such a novel idea. this client seems to think we are omniscient.

i have loads of stories to tell, but can't seem to get anything out right now. let's just say this: if you must urinate while drinking at one of your regular bars, use the restroom - not the wall outside. or, if you can't seem to hold it, don't hit a bar attendant when they decide that you should be thrown out. most of all, after a scuffle with eight or so guys, don't go back and hit the bar attendant again. and if all this transpires, at the very least, remember it the next day when someone wound up with a black eye trying to keep people off of you.

this drama is taking a while to settle. i think it's mostly internal. i feel guilty by association because it was my friend causing all the trouble.

i spilled boiling hot water on my hand as i was carrying my oatmeal back to my desk this morning.

Retardedly optimistic

Change=excitement.

I’m quitting my job post dentist appointment (to fix a year-old cracked filling) next week. The “new life” excitement steeps in my belly today.

Last Tuesday I lost my Muni pass. I was itching for my Ben n Jerry’s fix. It was raining, so I bolted across the street to avoid getting wet. The next day, I realized I didn’t have my Muni pass. It resided in the outside pocket of my wallet, so after searching every inch of my backpack and room, I assumed it fell out during the mad dash for ice cream. I’ve been riding Muni without a pass in the morning (they never check at the above ground stops) and paying the buck fitty for the ride home (they always check in the underground stations). Yesterday, Muni paid me back by not picking me up as the bus driver took off without opening his doors. During the sprint to catch the bus that neglected its potential passengers, I lost my backup Muni pass (a three day deal I’ve had since I moved out here) and missed the bus anyway. I angrily shelled out $8 for a cab ride so I wouldn’t arrive late to my doctor’s appointment. Disgruntled, I thought I’d just ride it out until next month. No big deal. Can’t do anything about it. I’ll just continue the free ride in the morning and pay for the trip home.

Last night I kicked off all my blankets and woke up freezing. Grabbed my robe, threw my blankets back on the bed, and noticed a shiny purple piece of paper peeking out from underneath my bed. My original Muni pass. Very funny, Muni.

So, this morning, I jumped on the second crowded train to pass (couldn’t squeeze my way into the first). We go a few stops and when we get to the station, the driver informs us all that the Muni enforcers will be checking passes as we get off the train. No pass = $115 fine.

Maybe there isn’t a moral to the story, but I found it pretty funny.

Off subject:
I know I have mentioned it before, but I repeat the thought because I think a certain roommate needs a certain amount of “get off your ass, goddammit” encouragement to reach rockstardom. So talented. So amazing. Thanks for the performance. Inspirational. Brilliant. All the good stuff. NOW GO PLAY FOR PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.

Off subject x 2:
This is f’n hilarious.

body slowly stiffens

i <3 snow.

went to sierra at tahoe this weekend and attempted to snowboard for the first time. i fell...a lot. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. i got a little frustrated toward the end of the day. my [insert appropriate body part here] had taken a beating, but nothing a few glasses of whiskey didn't cure. sore and still exhausted from the experience, simple actions like sitting, standing or walking have downgraded to slow, stiff, awkward movements. muscle fibers snap snap.

thunder...thunder...thunder...

it appears i'm posting more than everyone else. i'm not bored or anything.

i applied for an awesome part-time job in the arts today. now everyone hope that i get it.

this cold is kicking my ass. *hack* *sneeze* *cough* *daze*

first snowboarding trip = sunday. now everyone hope that i don't seriously injure myself.

thundercats.

Then my jaw crumbled…

I officially have nothing to do at work today. Time…sllllllooooowssss…doooooowwwwwn.

I spent the morning gathering info for ArtSFest. Went to the gym at lunch. Spent the afternoon thinking of ways to stop myself from stabbing my hand with an uncapped uni-ball fine point pen. Searching craigslist for random things (jobs, bikes, crazy people) kept my mind occupied for the most part.

I have chewed an entire pack of Orbit Bubblemint.

Second guessing myself

I don’t really know how to present this coherently, so I’m just going to vomit what I’m thinking here. I’m simultaneously in love with myself and hate myself. Taking the “fuck you, I’m going to do what I want” attitude makes me both euphoric and vulnerable. Vulnerability makes me feel both human and immature. People can make me feel amazingly secure and intolerably insecure. I hate that I don’t know more than I do. I love that everyone feels that way. I love my friends to no end. I hate that I spend more time being envious than acting. I hate when I turn into a whiney, insecure child. I both hate and love how attention is a core need of mine.

i'm late

i still haven't mailed holiday presents. i have a pile of them in my room. my room, mind you, epitomizes space mismanagement. i’m convinced the less time i spend in it, the less i need to worry about it. procrastination strikes again...

brilliance and envy

i had my first guitar lesson with my roommate last night. after a while, my poor fingertips couldn't take any more pressure, so in an effort to direct the attention away from me, i asked him to play something that he wrote. it was amazing. he is an incredible musician with a gripping vision. i've heard him play here and there and i knew he was good, but this performance was electrifying. people must hear him. must. the story and the song still linger this morning.

i wish i could inspire similar impressions.

traffic

my blog has four readers.

the impractical gang

want to join? our mantra will be "lofty dreams and distraction." we'll hold monthly meetings where members boast the epiphanies yielded from inner quests. after the unanimous horrah adjourning the meeting, we'll consume our nightly food and drink together, commending each other on finding meaning in our lives. Of course, during the communal congratulations, we realize that in order to keep consuming our nightly food and drink, we have to succumb to the daily machine that grinds us down into matter indistinguishable from each other. *sigh*

feeling downtrodden.

fashion and arts publicity

i think i want to launch my own arts, fashion and design publicity agency. i am working on two pro bono clients in the spring (an arts fest and a clothing designer) and hope that i might gain some paid clients from those projects. this, of course, means i need to quit my job so i can devote my time to making these projects succeed. i may possibly need to find investors (mom? dad? ross?) for financial support for a few months while i schmooze my way to paid clients. perhaps a part-time job? there is an epicurean site looking for an editor...would be perfect. i will be up until the wee hours of the morning figuring this one out tonight.

anyway, what do you think?